Pins and Frickin' Needles.

We have only viewed 13 houses, and we have found it.

Near the Alberta Arts district, a longish stumbling distance from the Kennedy School (a school converted into a bar for you non-Portlanders), and within walking distance to Starbucks and Alberta Park (which has a dog park!).

It's a single-story condo, and it's been completely renovated. Not flipped. Renovated.

We want it.

So we get this e-mail from our Realtor today and it was comparing the condo to those within the area--most were at least $30,000 more than this one.

And then I looked at the addresses.

SHIT.

The Model Home (the one we wanted) was listed as Pending (meaning someone's put an offer in, the seller accepted, and they're in closing, etc.). The other unit was the only one listed as "Active."

SHIT.

The Model Home and the Active unit only have a few differences- the Active one actually has a built-in linen cabinet (something we were frowning upon with the last place), and the Model's door to the outside of the unit (they have two exterior doors- one that leads to the center courtyard, and the other that leads to the outside of the condo) was right on the street with its own gate of sorts. And the Active one has a gorgeous hood above the gas range (and I checked the price on Ikea.com-- it's a $900 range!!).

We decided we still like it and to go for the Active listing. Only our contact with our lender has not gotten back to us about whether we are pre-approved or not. He ends up getting back to us, and mentioned he works with the listing agent often, and that we should give her a call.

Normally I would have our Realtor do this. But she is on her horse today. Literally. It is the only day she technically has off. Of course everything had to boil down to today.

So I call the listing agent, told her we were very interested, and she mentions that we need to get an offer in ASAP because another agent called her and told her they were taking their clients to see it again today.

SHIT.

Our lender gets back to us, e-mails us our pre-approval letter, and tells us to make an offer. There's just one catch. We're getting funded through FHA, and he needs to make sure the condo is an FHA-approved condo. He said he had a good feeling about it, so I will trust his gut.

So now I am on pins and needles waiting for our Realtor to get off of her horse and help us write up an offer before anyone else does.

I have to remind myself- everything happens for a reason (HA! I am suddenly reminded by one of my favorite Futurama episodes where the Brains invade Earth, and Fry becomes the smartest one on Earth, and he writes a book called, "Fry Tricks the Brain," and he traps the brain into the book, and the Brain's last line is, "I am leaving Earth...for no RAISIN!").

If this doesn't work out, I'll be bummed, but it means we are meant for something else. Something different. Something better.

Wish us luck.

House Hazing

In this insane housing market (and the media has completely inflated everyone's fears), Rob and I are trying to buy a house.

It's funny, because buying a house is like one of those rites of passage where you receive a barrage of advice from people who have done it before. Which is fine...except that we didn't ask for it...

They may have tried to ban hazing in college fraternities and sororities, but it still occurs in the "real world." Like when we got married- people had to put in their two cents about weddings and marriage. I'm sure it also happens with people having children, too. Buying your first home is no exception. And we've received all sorts of advice.

Like this:

"You should wait for the market to bottom out."

While I may claim to be clairvoyant at times (like when I blurt out a line while watching a new Grey's Anatomy or Desperate Housewives episode before they say the exact line...but I will just attribute that to the fact that I am a writing genius. No, actually it's because they have very predictable scripts.), there is no way to predict when the market will "bottom out." One should buy a house when they are ready to. Not when the market is "good."

The market is never good. Houses are always fucking expensive. And Rob and I live in one of the three markets where the housing crisis has not affected house prices (as in, the median price has not dropped, but risen). The other areas are Seattle (I would move there only if I was a zombie and could prey on the brains of the many who sit in freeway traffic for hours at a time), and Charlotte, North Carolina (humidity? I don't think so).

"You should buy a foreclosure."

Ew. No. While they appear to the novice as a house on clearance, you get what you pay for. In many cases (but not all, occasionally one does buy a foreclosure and gets a good deal out of it), a buyer could encounter one or more of the following situations:

1- The owner owes more on the mortgage than the house is worth (not usual for the Portland market, but where housing prices have fallen dramatically),

2- The bank owns the property, and is selling it "as-is." Which means if your inspection comes back shitty, you'll be the one to foot the bill because the bank ain't touching it. If you have an army of carpenters, electricians, plumbers, etc. in your family (which we kinda do), you may be able to repair things and still buy groceries. If you don't, you have to decide if it's really worth it--and if the repair is something like foundation work or rewiring the entire house, it may not be worth it.

3- Many times a listing will mention it's a "short sale." What an oxymoron. Since short sales mean the bank owns the house, they make you run through every hoop and will sell the house on their terms. Which can take much longer than a normal closing.

"You should look on craigslist for a house."

While craigslist is an excellent site for furniture and other sales, viewing homes on craigslist usually means the home is a For Sale By Owner (FSBO). In most cases, they do not have a Realtor, and in some cases, they will not pay your Realtor's commission. That blows. And you have to hire an attorney to cover your ass. No thanks.

We have looked at a few homes, and I'll post a recap later. Next episode: finding the home, fighting with the lender, and pins and needles.