"Eugh," my coworker recoiled as I showed off my best attempt at converting Word into a PhotoShop substitute. "Heh heh- that's exactly the reaction I was looking for," as I sent off my creation to my friends.
I had been wracking my brain for the longest time for a clever Halloween party invite.
Hubby has gotten to the point where he forbids me from sending out tangible, old-fashioned, snail-mail invites because of the stamp investment, the time investment to make them (if they're going to be sent out in the mail, you bet your ass they'll be hand-made, biotch!), and not to mention the fact that wherever I decide to make them ends up holding that area of the house hostage for however long it takes me to make them...and sometimes holds it for a few weeks afterward, too.
I searched and searched Microsoft's Clip Art online, to no avail. All the items were cutesy or just plain ugly.
I forgot about it until last weekend.
We met up with some friends who had gone to a mutual friends' wedding (hubby was really sick with the flu, so we refrained from contaminating all our friends, and especially the ones getting married!), and for some reason, the theme of the weekend was a Lil' Kim song.
Don't ask. For some reason when we college buddies get together, shenanigans occur. Tomfoolery happens. Hilarity ensues. And many times, a theme emerges.
Last weekend's theme was Lil' Kim's song, "This is A Warning." It's actually a cover of R.Kelly's "A Woman's Threat," but the lyrics are basically the same.
Don't ask. Let's just say Lil' Kim's "Notorious K.I.M." is one of my favorite Rap/Hip Hop albums.
But my friends came up with their own lyrics. And their version totally wins out of the three.
Lil' Kim: "Someone's gonna find your ass dead...someone's gonna poison your food..." (which is still pretty hilarious)
My friends: "Someone's gonna shit in your bed...someone's gonna tag all your toes..."
Maybe it really is funny. Maybe it was just one of those "you had to have been there moments." And I hate those moments if I was the one who wasn't there.
Either way, it gave me the idea for the invite above. And after a simple Google Image search (which may very well be one of the best inventions ever), some tweaking in Word (which was infuriating and made me feel like a creative warrior who works with what she's got), I got it.
It's not perfect. And yes, it could definitely have used some PhotoShop. But it works.
So hopefully, this Halloween, no one will find your ass dead, poison your food, shit in your bed, or tag on your toes.
Happy Halloweener.
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